life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
