Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she peed on how many people?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
