i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
