Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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