Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
