I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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