I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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