Already got asked if we're dating
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
