i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
