Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
