So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
