I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
