I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
