god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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