Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Your penis caused this!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
