escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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