I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize