Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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