Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
How naked do you want me to be?
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