He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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