CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
