I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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