no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
