these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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