Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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