is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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