The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
