i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize