ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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