It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
