New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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