Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
