I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So vagazzling was a success
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
