I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
