I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
