Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
