it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
