Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
