lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
