I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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