Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
