Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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