I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
