It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
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