we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
