I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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