I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
