Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
