yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
