$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
