Kiss
Puke
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
