We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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