so that wasnt chicken after all
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
