Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
