Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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