Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
