Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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